unsure.

I have no idea why, or how it all began, and it kind of kills me to say it or type it or anything in between, but I have been really caught up in the Casey Anthony case. Last night this woman was in my dreams, and in the dream I was trying very hard to be her friend, and I vividly remember telling her that "it's ok, you can tell me. I won't tell anybody else. I'm your friend" and I am kind of scared that in a very strange way my body and mind think this way. When I first read about this case I had my mind made up about this girl, and although the whole world seems to think she is guilty, I, on the other hand, think....how do you really know? I seen pictures of her release this morning and wasn't at all surprised to see that many people outside were anxiously waving their "justice for Caylee" signs, as if to say that Caylee's death is not being justified by her mother's release. I don't know. I really have no idea. It just kills me that SO many people seem so certain that are right, when I am thinking they know only what they read about in papers or news. They weren't there. A jury found Casey not guilty and for that I at least think she deserves some sort of respect. And for the record, I think Casey Anthony know's how her daughter died but is covering it up to protect someone else. Of course I don't know if that's true. I'm unsure about the whole thing. I don't even know why I care, but with a whole heart I really do. I guess I needed to share that somewhere, and even though I have abandoned my little blog with everything I created it for in the first place, I will get back on track.

Happiness on a plate.

Very quick post, but in a bid to eat healthier I whipped this up earlier...



Golden vegetable rice with chicken breasts spiced up with bbq seasoning. Pure Heaven on a plate!

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I will make a bigger post soon, but right now I gotta go enjoy a long walk with my hubby. Happy Saturday!!!

Happy dance.

It's funny what you're heart feels when it's bursting with so much of everything. A little bit of happiness, a huge dash of love, mix that with a generous helping of pure bliss and you've got yourself that warm, fuzzy feeling where you feel so damn good it almost even hurts. In a good way of course. When I feel this good my heart does a happy dance. Happy Dance. I feel like everyone needs a little something in their lives to make their hearts happy. This boy is my something.

He's 18 months.





And I really feel like I should take my camera out with me more...even if it's just on a random walk somewhere. I wanna capture all off this little guy's life while I can. I keep thinking and acting like the hourglass is trickling away, and each and every little bit of sand is a memory somewhere that needs to be frozen in time with a simple photograph. Harvey has less than 6 months left of being One, and I wanna cram as much, and as many pics, into it as I can.




(Mama not long up...so excuse messy hair and tired expression)

18 months. I say it out loud so many times, and will continue to until I can believe it. 18 months ago I brought this boy into the world and became a Mama.



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I don't want this blog to be just about Harvey, which is why I'm stormin' up ideas for blog posts about other things important to me in my life too. I've made a note to self to take more pics of other things, and I really need more pics of both Richard and I. My next challenge! For now it's all about the happy dance.

Way too early.

...to be making these, but I don't care.





The 27th of this month will mark our boy becoming a big 18 months, and it's milestones like these that make a Mama become all nostalgic. For a good part of today I have cradled that boy like as if he fits in my arm again and remembering all things good and sweet about the first time I laid eyes on him. "It's a boy... we have a boy!" Richard said to me, all teary eyed...and I will never forget that. It's a feeling words could never do enough justice. The 27th of November 2009 at exactly 5:15am was the moment my life changed forever. It was the moment I felt my heart ignite and soar right out of that hospital room, and come right back at me with full force with a feeling of pure love. Pure elation. Pure happiness. We love that boy like no other, and no matter what age he is, he will always be my baby. He will always be my special little boy, the apple of my eye, the one who made me a Mama.

All that being said, I experiment making 2nd birthday invitations just because I love it. With the 6 months I have left of him being one year old, I feel like there will be many more of these made until I am happy with just one. One. Oh, what a precious little age.







I am so blessed to be his Mama. And ever thankful to the Lord for giving me the most precious gift of all.



Having a nostalgic-but-happy Wednesday. Hope your's is happy too!

Home comforts.

It has been raining here solid for over a week now.



Indoor adventures are even set aside for a while to enjoy simple things we call Home Comforts.



Coffee will always be a home comfort to me. I love the taste, the smell...everything there is. And while we can't play much outside or take walks, we are beginning to learn the beauty and the comfort that lies within our own home. Our space.

A couple mornings ago I walked into our kitchen to this...





He learns new things every day, and something tells me he loves getting into mischeif like this...



In the same morning I almost couldn't believe my luck when again I walked into the kitchen to see a sight like this...







Mama's homemade chicken curry ended up all over our floor, and all I could do was laugh. And so did he.





Later that day he broke a plate. No photo of that. But, oh, what a day that was.

Yes, it may be raining, but we are still having fun. Still looking for fun in the most unexpected of places, because what else are we to do. Mama is trying very hard to get my driving licence, and perhaps when that happens rainy days won't mean days indoors. But until then, we pull things out of cupboards and fridges, we colour, we gather all the pillows in the house into one big pile and throw ourselves on top (Harvey's latest favourite thing to do -- which needs pics because his happiness is just precious!), we stay in jammies until late (1pm to be precise) and all of it just feels so damn good. A sweet boy, a warm bath, and coffee calls my name....and here I come. Because after the rain, comes the rainbow...



And we are always happy.




Happy Tuesday!

Challenged.

I always feel so much better when my house is clean...




I'm not sure why it is, but I can think clearer, breath a little easier. It's not always easy to keep my house clean with Harvey running about, but I like the challenge. I love a clean kitchen, and love the fact that my dear fiance is in there right now cleaning up dishes and washing down benches to give me a break. Since becoming a Mama I have become extremely domesticated - something I never thought would happen. The truth is, I love cleaning my house and everything that it involves, because when I'm done, I light a candle and relax with my baby and in life there isn't anything possibly any sweeter.



Yes, today was a better day.





I went to bed last night thinking "what could I do better?". Before breakfast this morning, I gave him a little shoot of pain relief for his teefers and it made a huge difference to our day. I am constantly thinking up new ways to make his days more interesting, especially since lately it has been raining and we can't plan little adventures outside. My mind is whirring and longing for warmer weather and sunshine and beachy days away, but we have to make the best of what we have. It is a daily but very welcome challenge.



Rainy days make me want to curl up in jammies, drag our duvet down from upstairs and make our own little space in the middle of the living room floor to tickle and giggle and just enjoy some Mama and baby time, and I can tell you, there is nothing else I'd rather do that play with my boy, watch his contented little smile and think to myself "I must be doing something right". That smile makes every challenge worthwhile.

Days like this.

Never before I have been so happy to tip-toe upstairs and see this...



Oh man, it has been a day. To date this day has been one of the hardest days in all of my days as his Mama so far. Where do I even start? Well, our day started like this...







I was sure it was the start to a good day. But it all went downhill from there. I said silent prayers to God to give me the strength to make it through, but still I cried until my heart hurt. When Richard came home from work he held me as I cried, really cried, into his chest. It is so hard to be a stay-at-home-mama some days, but for some reason, it is days like these that gives me the fuel I need to wake up and say "tomorrow will be better". I am determined to get it right. I am determined to learn to be patient and to be a forgiving Mama. All I can hope for is that I will learn from today and hope for tomorrow. I need tomorrow to be better for both of us. I felt the need to share it all out somewhere and already it makes me feel better to write it out and try to make some sense of crazy days like this.

Tomorrow will be better.